Today....

Yesterday I reached out to Tera about the situation here. What really made an imprint was her umbrella analogy. I hold this umbrella over John going where he goes to protect him from the rain when the rain is God trying to teach him something. I forgot and felt good and understood my place.

Than talking with Vanessa was eye opening when I look at it rationally. Honestly without the spiritual lends on. Was that the answer I was actually looking for? I do love John and although we were disobedient in getting married, God showed me the vision of our marriage and it's not to give up. Our testimony will be used to save other marriages and the challenge of not just being unequally yoked with your spouse, but also with God. I want to keep my marriage because it brings me joy, happiness and spontaneity. He cares for me and serves me. He loves me. He just doesn't care or love himself. He can't receive my love nor the love of God. 

Might have gotten off on a tangent here but the country between Vaesaa and Tera, I need to focus on Liz. What the holy spirit is doing within and what needs to happen practically, for the long run. Patrick mentioned what is going to help. The light at the end of this tunnel will lead to success. Will that success be with our without John? Either way. Liz needs a job and needs to be about supporting her daughter.

The other things Vanessa mentioned was a mock rock bottom and legal separation to protect me from John's financial mess. Right now ova responsible for all the debt he is recurring. 

Rather someone told me or not. Its no one else's fault but my own that I'm not where I need to be. Being at home with Kamea and building a business was ideal but not realistic. 

It's time for mama bear to roll out and protect her cub by all means necessary.